#its just exhausting yk
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
will you promise that i'll see you again?
summary: your people refuse reason, and their damage refuses to heal. when it seems as if the whole world has left you, your dutiful knight still remains by your side.
word count: 2.3k
-> warnings: implied suicidal ideation (reader + unnamed side character), reader's previous deaths are mentioned in somewhat graphic detail
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @yuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
āyouāre one of the only things keeping me going, you know.ā
dainslef turned to you in surprise, the even neutrality to your tone a sharp contrast to the rapid pace of his heart. he wasnāt a fool, he knew that the hunt had to be taking a heavy toll on you, but thisā¦
this was more than he expected.
he knew he was one of a pitiful few who saw through celestiaās false puppet, who knew you for you and not their mirage. he knew that the entire world was hellbent on erasing you from existence, that youād been forced through your own death countless times as teyvat pulled you apart and pushed you back together far from the scene of your would-be murder. he saw the golden scars across your skin, the dried remains of blood lining the wounds you hadnāt been able to patch yet. heād been the one to wash them away, not minding the refuse soaking into his gloves if it meant your hands could be clean.
he recognized the dull exhaustion in your eyes, the same as the ones he saw in the reflections of lakes. tired, worn, barely there, hanging on by one solitary string that was wound so tightly around a desperate hand.
you had always been his reason for continuing. when the traveller broke down and the ruler of the abyss hid from the sun, you were there. when the chasmās mud clung to his boots and the memories in his head burned as nails forced between his eyes, you were there. his rosary was kept tight to his chest at all times, familiar prayers pulling him up in the morning and forcing him to sleep at night. he was alive for far, far too long, but you made it bearable. you were his duty, his promise.
he never once thought that heād be yours. then again, he never thought that heād have to defend you from the ones you once called friends. time never did pass how he expected it to.
āā¦leading light?ā
you looked down, twirling blades of grass around your fingers. he had led you up to a mostly desolate area of sumeru, west of bayda harbor. it close enough to the sea, forest, and desert that you could reasonably make an escape through any of those routes if need be, while also providing a rather pleasant view. the sky was bleeding red and gold as the sun sank below the horizon, a remarkable sight that fell on blind eyes. there was no use trying to enjoy natureās beauty when he still kept one hand on his sword and both ears pricked for the slightest sign of danger.
you shouldnāt have to worry about your safety. you shouldnāt have to prioritize based on how likely you are to get hurt, or how easily it would be to make an escape. you still flinched when the wind blew a little too quick, used to it heralding armored footsteps and battle cries. in another life, you were welcomed with open arms, able to enjoy yourself without constantly being on high alert. teyvat did what it could to adapt; the air was still, frozen in time, barely a bird chirping for miles. it was meant to be comforting, he thinks, but dead silence was more unnerving than any breeze.
āi mean it.ā he could hear every shift in his cloak around your shoulders, the heavy fabric doing little to soothe your stress. it was yours more than it was his now, to the point he felt claustrophobic wearing it. how long had he been traveling with you? the days blurred.
āi donāt doubt you.ā he never would. never could. heās not sure, even if he somehow wanted to, that his body would allow him to treat your words as anything less than fact. ābut i donāt understand what you mean.ā
you were a god. the creator, the first, the one that shaped the sovereigns scales and laid the foundations of earth. you predated the archons, celestia, the very skies themselvesā¦
and he, somehow, was a driving motivation for you?
his words must have been funny, a sharp laugh tumbling out of your mouth. it was bitter, humorless, and somewhat raspy. he made note to find some water for you later. āwhat else could i mean?ā you turn to him, some of his confusion lost as your eyes found his. even this burnt out, deep bags set beneath them, you still managed to steal the very air in his lungs. āyouāre the only reason iām still here.ā
he didnāt know what to say. what was there to be said, when you were you and he was him? when the world had abandoned you, it made sense youād cling to what remained faithful. it was merely coincidence he happened to find you first, thatās all. coincidence that you trusted enough not to run from, coincidence that you allowed to care for your injuries. there was nothing to say, because you held nothing for him in particular, only leaning on him out of need. he had to believe that. what was he left with if that wasnāt true? an awkward truth hid beneath his well-known lies, too large for him to see the edges, let alone to contain.
āpleaseā¦ do not say such things again.ā to ask of his god what he could not ask of himself was surely some form of heresy, as was willingly laying aside his guard when he was the only one who was tasked with protecting you. he pulled his attention from the tide below, from the rustling trees, holding faith that the world would not be needlessly cruel. he stepped forward, kneeling beside you. even up close, you still seemed painfully small. āit is your own resilience that has allowed you to persevere.ā
itās the earth that leads you from danger.
itās the water that follows you wherever you go.
itās the leylines that whisk you to safety.
itās the wind that warns you of whatās to come.
itās the you from the past that protects the you in the present.
itās the you in the present that provides for the you in the future.
itās you, from everywhere and everywhen, continuing to fight.
and yet you sigh. you look away, across the sea, tracing fontaines skyline. āit really isnāt. i was lucky to run into you when i did.ā
you had just crossed the wall back into the forest, burning hot and shaking. he was the lucky one, in truth, to be able to pick your figure out from the sand below. perched on a high cliffside, even mitachurls were reduced to small brown flecks.
you had worn a cryo mageās cloak, which was what initially drew his attention. abyss activity wasnāt uncommon in the area, but a cryo mage in the desertā¦ that was cause for intrigue. he stepped forward and slid down the steep face in front of him, a slight puff of dust marking his landing in the desolate sand of old vanarana.
he didnāt know what to expect. you stumbled around the jagged remains of a tree, heading for the statue of the seven. he followed, only growing more confused. cryo and dendro did not react with each other, and there was no way to āslowā a statue. a scouting mission, maybe? but why a cryo mage, when pyro would have been far more advantageous in the case of an attack?
he leaned around the corner carefully, prepared for the sight of a staff or the chanting of abyssal magic filling the air. the entire world seemed to be holding its breath, frozen in place and waiting for some trigger to continue.
he saw none of that. you were collapsed at the foot of the statue, faint wheezing only making it to his ears by virtue of the standstill around him. you held no staff, commanded no magic, your chest barely moving with air.
heād never seen a mage seek out the archons when dying. one hand squeezed the handle of his sword as he crept forward, ready to strike should the situation turn against him. the sand barely shifted beneath his feet, his own heart sounding too loud to his ears. you did not move, showing no signs that you had noticed his approach. he still didnāt trust it.
your cloak was tattered and torn, with thick gloves atypical of a mage. they reminded him more of hilichurl wraps, which was strange considering you wore no mask. your face was instead covered by what looked like eremite cloth, just as stained and dirtied as the rest of your clothes. what he could see looked almost human; in another life, he could believe you were a weary traveller, lost amidst the sand.
he was acting foolish. if the abyss had a human tool, he needed to figure out why. he reached down, undoing the sloppy knot of your veil and letting the brocade fall limply to the grass.
ā¦grass. he blinked, eyes flickering between the ground and your face, not sure which was harder to believe. flowers had bloomed around you, protecting your body from the blazing sands, and heād be a fool not to recognize the face plastered all over every bounty board.
he didnāt understand. if nothing else, he thought the archons would have enough respect for their creator to know when they were being lied to, yet before him was barely living proof of the inverse. sweat beaded along every inch of exposed skin, deep-set heat exhaustion burning you from the inside out. how could you be a threat? how could they be so blind?
he looked again, the shine of elemental sight straining his eyes, catching flickers of the dendro energy pouring from the statue. you were the only one the archons would feed. you were the only one to make the very earth break its own rules, allowing lotuses to bloom from barren soil. something painfully similar to rage threatened what remained of his rationality, and it took all he had to push it aside.
that didnāt matter. if he went off on some banal revenge quest, heād be no better than them. your safety mattered more. he picked you up and set aside how calm his curse felt, beginning the trek back to his camp. behind him, the flowers already began to wither, losing their persistence without you to foster it.
perhaps that initial meeting was luck. but these was no luck involved in your trust in him. when you woke up and saw him at your side, you chose to trust him. you chose to believe that he was not like the others, that he would protect you, and he was forever grateful for that trust. nobody could fault you for being angry, for being spiteful about what you were put through and choosing to lash out. nobody would have the right to be upset if you chose to vent your wrath against those that had hurt you.
but you didnāt. you chose, again and again, to believe in the world. you chose to let them live their lives, even if it meant getting hurt again in the process. you chose a quiet life traveling with him over the comfortable life on your throne. to willingly choose to travel with a disgraced knight to spare your people guiltā¦ he couldnāt decide if it was noble or reckless. either way, he was selfishly happy that he was the one to stay by your side.
āi wonāt try to convince you. but, please.. do not give up on yourself so easily.ā i know far too many who have died by the same hand. āthe world and its opinion does not define you. only you get to decide where fate leads.ā
you lean towards him, and he thinks you might have passed out- but no, your head lands on his shoulder with far too much precision. he stiffens, not used to existence without a constant pain beneath his skin. āhow motivational. you tell all your soldiers that?ā
his heart is beating too quickly, thoughts unusually hard to grasp. youāre the only one who could have this effect on him. he only wished it wasnāt now, when your belief in yourself was on the edge. āi mean it. none of this is your fault, and neither are celestial actions the peopleās fault. i know that you are hurt, but i donāt want you to accept that main needlessly. you shouldnāt have to view your creation with such pain.ā slowly, carefully, he raises the hand closer to you, doing his best not to disturb you as he settles it on your arm. heās can only hope that the contact brings you as much comfort as it does him. āif nothing else, believe me. promise youāll at least try.ā
he doesnāt think youāll agree. why would you make a promise to one who represents the heavenās betrayal? why would you let him hold you close at all, when you can surely sense the bindings of those who tried to kill you wrapped tightly around his soul? he doesnāt know. all he can do is hope.
āā¦alright, dainslef. i promise.ā
twilight has long since fallen, and yet he smiles for the first time in centuries.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#dainslef#sagau dainslef#dainslef x reader#genshin dainsleif#dainslef x you#gender neutral reader#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x gn reader#hes so shaped.... ily dain <3#just... shut up about dain's perspective of the creator. shh. its for the plot.#filtering should pick up on the warnings section and its very brief but to be very safe#tw sui ideation#tw suicidality#< popular tags; someone please tell me if i should use others too#to answer your unasked questions No i was not ok writing this. my ass was Exhausted#to be very clear i am better now were all good i was just having an awful two days#but we are so fucking back#had this marinating for a while just to like scrub out the more indulgent parts of it#there was a whole monologue about 'i cant fix it but i will be there for you. i cant make it go away but i can make it easier.' but. yk.#didnt fit the plot el em ay oh
361 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
64 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
trying to get used to tumblr again
#r27#sawada tsunayoshi#katekyo hitman reborn#i love drawing tsuna smiling bc in official art he radiates so much light. if he existed my eyes would melt at the sight of him /pos#trying my best to capture his beaming vibe. one day#also i like to think if tsuna passes out from exhaustion reborn would just ācoincidentallyā also fall asleep netx to him#its cute yk and with all the work of being vongola decimo tsuna would be a tired guy at times and reborn just wants to be with him#and maybe protect him in his sleep too idk#other guardians would be terrified whenever they pass by bc theyre afraid to wake both of them up for different reasons#mainly fear sprouting from reborn
244 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind
#like babies dont Think while they learn how to exist#imagine straight up spawning fully aware and then everyone else is up to speed but youre standing there like#š§āāļøuh. hello. what is everything. what is this. huh????#LIKE???? i feel so bad for him. dude got dropped right into the middle of the ocean and was told 'learn to swim'#and hes trying. but he doesnt know what drowning is so he cant sink either#i mean i get it at least a little bit! its the Autism Experience but w/ him the dial is cranked up to a thousand#you dont know what you dont know but life goes on like you should. fuck#wally i am mentally beaming you a thousand apples grown in the shape of hearts#i believe in you dude you'll figure it out#well. im probably beaming apples into the past if the time discrepancy is real but yk yk#cause if it is then Current Wally probably has a solid handle on things. from a basic standpoint#in a wider lens i am led to believe that he is Scrabbling#is this speculation???#i think it counts.#wh speculation#homebogging#whenever i think about the tidbits we know - ex: wally learning about differences in size#internally i start howling. wally is just constantly dealing with things that would drive a person insane if they had to live it#how is he not Exhausted... it's all so much for someone who knows whats going on let alone someone scrambling to catch up#at least the other neighbors dont have to deal with memorizing physics and skills and behavior#and just Literally Everything That Comes With Being Alive#wally is a blank slate left to write itself.#ough. damn. fuck. i think i need to go stare into the woods for a bit...
58 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i hate her if im being honest
#SHE JUST FUCKING#i like didnt see a box by the door n i was like yk its not too late to change my major to brain surgery yk like sarcastically i said this#and she goes i dont think youre smart enough for that š#THATS THE JOKE + SHUT THE FUCK UP ???#jesus christttt i just. i feel like shes always insulting my intelligence lately#said something the other day idr what n she was like iād expect that from [younger sister] not you#n the clear implication was like. sister is smarter#i wish i remember what iād said but like#sigh. its just kind of exhausting being The Stupid One#add to that the fact my memory issues are getting actively worse. doesnt feel too great tbh!!#rambling
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i love self-care and pampering and everything but sometimes it's also just tiring
#like sometimes skincare is tiring#i just wanna wash my face and go to bed#not put like 45678983 things on and wait until it sinks in#like i wish i didnt have to get ready for bed and was instead just ready alr yk#waxing is also..... not fun at all#like the feeling after is worth it but going thru it just is not it.....#it isnt the pain anymore for me its just that its exhausting#i talked so much again
31 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i āchoseā this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
21 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
the usamerican is talking about usa stuff again
#i just feel so powerless cuz i cant vote yet but like#and i see people saying shit like 'it doesnt matter theyre both horrible' well one of them is worse. so please vote#like idk voting for kamala wont fix much of anything but that other guy is gonna make everything way fucking worse!#like shit i dont wanna move. my parents were talking about this. i dont wanna leave my home i like it here for the most part#can people just grit their teeth and vote for the clearly less worse option or am i asking too much#idk ill probably delete this later. i dont like talking about politics that much on here#its just exhausting yk?#but i dont wanna live in a country thats more dangerous for me and other people#cuz it already is. i dont wanna take ten steps back
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun š. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
thinking thoughts
#mia's ramblings#thinking abt that one time i was so uncomfortable with my friend's pda thing that i left them behind at the koi pond#like i literally just. stood up. started walking away#i still have no idea why it made me uncomfortable and even now just thinking about it makes me sick#for some reason idrk#also thinking about those times where i was so mentally exhausted from everything that i didnt have the energy to stand up so i just#didnt go to school#obviously i told people i was āsickā or āmasakit pakiramdam koā etc which i mean#its a half truth? atleast ???#and thinking about how i just want to avoid Her bc i do Not want to be dealing with their relationship problems at 6am but yk#the moment she starts up conversation i just#put those thoughts at the back of my head and pretend like im not fucking tired of her bullshit#i could be so. mentally drained. to the point that i just avoid everyone by going to coop on my own or going to 7-11 just to Breathe#but the moment someone talks to me like jack or salve or heck even kui my brain just. forces itself to act ānormalā and by normal i mean no#-mentally drained yk?#like the moment literally anyone starts talking to me the thoughts of being mentally tired just get pushed back and idrk how to tell people#-that im mentally exhausted without sounding rude so i just#let my brain just bottle it up until im so tired mentally that i literally cannot function#i think its called being overstimulated? yea#which yeah basically this shit happens every. day. until my brain just goes nope youre shutting down no school for today also youre getting#-a fever too#which like??? idk why it happens???#and its not like i dont want to talk to them either#like#obviously i do#but talking to anyone when im like this makes it feel like an obligation#which fucking sucks because i dont like being obligated to do stuff i just want to do it because well#i want to??#and i feel bad for peewee bc usually he'll talk to me when im at my limit so my responses are very short and yea#this is why i always say 'im tired' whenever people ask how im doing
21 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
wait what happened with pissditching? im p sure you talked abt them in an ask response but i never understood what happened...
basically pissditching is friends with revengeromance and girlgerard (both of whom i dislike atp*) i said something in the tags of a post abt how i was pissed at revengeromance for something (unrelated) and pissditching found it and lowkey harassed me and several friends over it and said some real fucking weird shit to me so i blocked them (and probably said something snarky abt them on main but i dont really remember)
*i dont personally like these two users bc they (specifically gg) are the forefront of call gerard way nothing but she/her and i think thats fucking weird š personally. so i have them blocked and donāt interact with anyone around them at all.
#so in the tags of a random post i mentioned leo. so like. what was pissditching doing on my blog huh. i know but i dont want to get that far#into it honestly. at least publicly. but i know what they were doing lmao#do i make an ass of myself on the internet at times for reminding ppl someoneās prns? yeah probably. jokes and affection can be okay#but every. fucking. time. is so fucking weird. and gross. at least to me but what do i know. anyways#theres two ppl in that circle who i really hate enough to not mention here.i have nothing neutral to say at all. neither are gg or pd.#anyways this is also why i donāt interact with most of the fandom anymore its just so exhausting#ppl say that sort of shit to g. and as a qnc/queer person it just gets to me yk#btw im not posting this to āstart dramaā. dont even. the āgender warsā are such bullshit itās embarrassing#crimson answers#crimson speaks#reportinglivefromsoda#the jester#the flunkies
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I know I've mentioned it before, but I really do love the idea of Stretch slowly gaining some weight on the surface, going from scrawny as hell to like, a dad bod. And Edge just being sooo happy about it.
How overwhelmed with love he feels when he remembers how chalky and pale Stretch's bones used to be, how they're flushed and vibrant now. How sturdy he feels to hold, how different it is from when his bones felt so brittle they might snap if he held him too tightly. The days long behind them of Stretch going weeks at a time hardly eating, hardly moving, being able to spoil him endlessly with any recipe he loves or wants to try.
Normally, I don't think most monsters really have the kinds of the uselessly judgmental behaviors humans do, but I feel like Stretch would still be self conscious of the change, possibly because of human standards heās since learned, or perhaps just because it's a change and he worries, but he worries less and less with Edge. Because Edge clearly doesn't mind, even seems to cherish it, and he feels better, he knows he's doing better, so what does anything else matter, really?
Healing together...ough
#since I usually hc most uf monsters are like. partially starved at all times. edge would also of course gain weight and become much#healthier but he has So much Fucking Energy I just don't think he could be anything but absolutely jacked which is like...#idk. it's different. on top of like. edge's thing isn't so much a sign of personal healing as simply being in a much better environment#which is of course wonderful and sweet in its own right but stretch's thing is internal yk? it's a harder hurdle to clear#I'm super exhausted rn so idk what I'm talking about. bye#spicyhoney#papship#papcest#sns is typing#sns thoughts...
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
im trying to treat myself softly today. today was good n then i got really tired n i think naturally im still a little worn out by what happened two days ago... but i reached out to some folks and like. did some work, still more to do tmrw n everything but. right now i feel like i need to let go of everything and just lay down and like. settle with it.
#nightmare.personal#sometimes its on very lovely days where i get really overwhelmed#where it's like hard to sleep n im thinking about the past#i kind of miss college on days like this and how fast everything moves. how i have time to breathe but not a lot of time for other shit#obviously i do miss being online and resting at home w/o that much hw. just a lot of weird feels#def think the anxiety i had over my necklace i made wasnt helpful bc i think thats what caused the exhaustion#but its ok. i dont love myself a lot but i am trying n i am good generally. people like me#n i cant have everyone all the time that ive ever met#but i got a couple good eggs. more than a couple but yk#and theyre meaningful
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Yk kinda obsessed with the dynamic of complete mess & "if a peacock was a human"
#maybe its just bc i keep seeing shit abt it on pintrest idk#like gender of either party does not matter- 1 of them just needs to be kinda gross & fucked up and the other 1 needs 2 look like Claire's#that discord kitten bullshit yk#im super exhausted rn but like- I'm beaming the vibes at every1#elliot rambles
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Ogh!! I'm so sorry to hear that your work schedule was such poop regarding the update! If it makes you feel better, I would watch your stream regardless if I looked at the update already or not! Wouldn't say any spoilers, but I love how you perceive things regarding WH and I would no doubt love to see your reaction live regardless!
aw <3 thank you <3 i Deeply appreciate that!!
#if enough people are in your boat i'll still stream it ahaha#because i Want To!!! i don't want to enjoy this alone!#man now im just worried bc like... if it's day three into my four day work week...#do i wait an entire extra day OR do i do it That Night?#bc if i do it That Night more people might be willing#but also i want to have Time to be thorough and talk & enjoy Without being exhausted at work the next day#but then its also like... lmao what if i waited until sunday. my first day off yk#i could do the stream Early (like. in the morning. 10 or something)#and not be exhausted after a 9 hour shift...#AH SORRY IM RAMBLING!!!!#rambles from the bog#again this is all spec. a miracle may happen. it almost certainly Wont tho#man... i wanna make this happen so bad... but i dont wanna force myself to go through it while tired#BUT OH MAN I DO NOT WANNA WAIT#but i also do. i wanna have my brain cobbled together for it
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Aromantic yearning (?) is so fucking weird because it's like. Yes I want someone to spend literally my whole life with, who knows me inside and out just like I know them inside and out. Yes I want to share my whole life with them. Yes I want to make out with them sometimes. We're just besties though
#aghdhfg i want to date!! i want to do all the relationship shit!! just without the romantic aspect#and yeah i know qprs exist but it just doesnt. vibe right yk#i want a bf#or a moirail that would be fucking great actually#moirail applications open mutuals hmu /hj#god idk its like 1 am#im exhausted#i have work the next two days (cringe)#sigh#nintendont2502 cringe comp#will probably maybe delete later#or ill just forget this exists who knows#certainly not me#me.txt
46 notes
Ā·
View notes